Sweet child of mine. . .turns 1 today!

Happy 1st Birthday, Madden Luke!

Exactly one year ago today I was in labor and delivery just hours away from meeting our most precious gift from Above. At 7:58 pm, our lives forever changed and we are eternally grateful for the impact you have had on us. 

I love this picture. We stayed at the hospital with you from Wednesday night until Sunday morning. You were a tad Jaundice and had lost over 10% of your birthweight due to my milk not coming in quick enough to have a big enough supply for a 10 lber! And Saturday night it was in and overnight you gained your weight back and we got the O.K. to go home! Due to me having to have a c-section, I wasn't of much help those first few days. Your daddy did everything but feed you (even though you tried! such a hungry "little" guy!). 

And here we are, FINALLY getting to take you home, sweet, home!

Your first bath! You loooove the water and getting your head washed. :)

More precious moments with daddy.

(Insert tears and smiles here.)

Precious grin!

All dressed up and ready for church!

Did I mention you love to eat? You can see the ring around your mouth and clearly you've got the perfect full belly to snuggle up and take a nap.

You rolled over at 2 months and played just like the picture above at 3 months. :)

No caption needed. :)

Oh, how this picture makes me laugh! You are just the cutest, chubbiest thing...I love it! (1st Easter)

It's the funnest thing getting to dress you up. Little boy clothes are so much like big man clothes! Lol.

All tuckered out...and getting so big!

Lookin' good, Madd! ;)

Another Sunday at Church!

Such sweetness. . .

:)

Is this not the funniest thing?!

Fam[ily]

First trip to the Houston Zoo!

Silly boy!

Mealtime messies!

My handsome man!

Those first pearly whites!

Just tricking us into thinking you would walk early. ;)

Water baby!

You were a T Bird for your first costume contest at the Cushing Carnival! You got 3rd place after Huckleberry Finn & Cinderella. :)

You sure do love those puppies!

This outfit would be all your daddy's doings.

Love it!

Your first lollipop. Let's just say you were wired for the next 2 hours or so. Lol.

You were a Rockstar for your first Halloween!

You love Duffy, but Duffy doesn't love you. You like to pull his tail. :)

The cutest smile!

You loved Santa!

So big now! & still so cute!

Being a one year old is tough work.

One year old today...I still can't believe it! This picture is after your first haircut...and yes, I kept the curls. :)

And don't worry, your daddy said, "Curls for the girls." So we left some. ;)

This has been on my mind for a while. . .

Don't you just LOVE it when people (some who know you, others who don't) give their opinion on what you should be doing with your life? For example, nothing gives me more joy (insert sarcastic tone hear) than to have someone belittle my "job" (even those quotation marks are sarcastic) as a stay-at-home mom. Even though I know better, their words have a way of making me feel as if I'm doing something wrong.

First, a little background story...

Now, I know that I didn't plan my life out in the way that society sees fit, you know, by graduating high school, then finishing college within 4 years, then finding love and marriage, and then having a baby. Instead, God placed the sweetest man I know into my life as a teen. I married at the very young age of 19 years old. I didn't marry for money, or lust, or to rebel against my parents. I didn't marry because all of my friends were doing it or to fit in. I married because I knew that we have something rare...we have love. My marriage, to me, is my greatest accomplishment. I feel I have been successful at my life already because I'm lucky enough to be blessed by my amazing God with this wonderful, honest, hard-working, loving man.

So, obviously my "life-plan" changed a little. I still had the desire to finish school but I had one small problem...I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life as far as a career goes. I believe I've changed my major 4 times before finally settling on getting my Bachelor's Degree in Elementary Ed (which is still in progress, but I'll get to that in a sec). JR and I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by such an awesome , loving, and caring family who have been there and supported us just about every step of the way.

Not long after celebrating our 1 year anniversary, I was still in school and working at a daycare center in Nacogdoches. Things were going good for us and everything seemed to be going according to plan. Around the end of September of 2009 I found out that I was pregnant. For some reason, this brought sheer fear and upset to me. I was home alone when I found out and all I could think about was how I was going to disappoint my family because I had yet again failed to conform to society's average 21 year old. I felt tons better though after I called JR to deliver the news. He was ecstatic and to my surprise, so was everyone else. Sadly, not long after having found out, a month to be exact, I miscarried. The baby had implanted on my cervix which would have ended up killing both the baby and myself had it went any further, urging my need for a D&C. I was a complete mess. All women handle these things differently; some well, some not. I was the latter part of that. I blamed myself for not having been excited at the very moment I found out. I felt that it was my fault because instead of jumping up and down with happiness, I fell to the floor wondering how on earth I would be able to do this at that particular time in my life. Now, I'm not at all writing this to be felt sorry for. I'm telling my story so that you will better understand my present decision-making.

As this happened, I was right in the middle of the fall semester. I ended up barely passing my classes and received an incomplete from a sweet and understanding professor for another class that I probably would have failed. I no longer worked at the daycare and no matter what I told myself or what other caring words I received from anyone else, nothing made me feel better. I was depressed. To me, I had lost a child that I didn't even get a chance to know. I kept searching for the reason it happened and finally came to the realization that God was trying to get my attention. No, He didn't "speak" to me, nor did I have a vision. I just knew that I had to sit down with my husband and really contemplate our future and reorganize our priorities. Were we just going along to please society and our family or were we doing things please our Heavenly Father? School was no longer my focus. I didn't have the drive that I once had. I felt like something was missing and I did everything I could to positively fill this void in my life. And 7 months later, I found it. I found what we needed..what I needed. And THIS time, we were BOTH jumping up and down screaming and crying. We were BOTH filled with the joy and excitement that anyone should have. We were pregnant...

I knew at that very moment what God had planned for me. He had my full attention the second time around. God was and still is at the center of my life. He is first and will remain there. And now, not only do I have an amazing husband but I also have the sweetest and most handsome baby boy that a mother could ask for. :)

Now remember, I've worked in a daycare, in the infant room to be exact. I know the truth about them and what goes on all day. I'm not by any means knocking daycares; I believe they are a good thing. They have many positive benefits for children and are there for parents who both work full-time jobs. BUT, after having been there and seen it first-hand I would not want my child in one, particularly an infant. Toddlers are a different story. They can talk to you and tell you what's going on, but that's a different story for a different post. They also cost an arm and a leg. If I were to work, I wouldn't get paid much because lest we forget that I have no college degree. It would take nearly my entire month's salary to afford gas for work and daycare. So that'd be like me going to work just to pay for someone else, that doesn't care near as much as I do, to raise my child. This is not the only reason I stay home. I have yet again been blessed enough that my husband has a well-paying job to support us all. I'm willing to, however, sacrifice having a huge house, and two nice fancy cars and all the name-brand mumbo-jumbo (although if you know me at all, then you know I would GLADLY take any of that mumbo-jumbo anyday ;) ) in order to be the one to get to be home with my baby. I don't have to worry about someone else hearing his first words or seeing those first steps. I get to and I wouldn't have it any other way.

With all of that being said, I can now touch base on the point of this post. SINCE I'm a stay-at-home mom, I MUST have nothing better to do than sit around on my tail all day. Clearly, I'm lazy because having to tend to a one year old is easy peasy. HA! Did I mention that I am also a full-time student? Yes, I'm still in college workin' away on that ol' Bachelor's Degree for what else? Oh yeah, to be a teacher. Did you know that their salary sucks and that I could be doing something way more life-changing than educating our future generations? Yep, I'm obviously dubious to these "facts". And one other thing I've failed to mention. I found this little thing...called, wait for it...a job. YES, I'll actually be doing something to contribute financially to my family. :-O Shocking, right? Because staying home and raising our baby while going to school isn't doing enough. Fortunately, it's a job created just for stay-at-home moms. I can make my own schedule and work as much or as little as I like. I'm now a jeweler for Premier Designs Jewelry Company. I also clean for our church on a weekly basis, with the help of my husband I might add and my momma who eagerly watches Madden for us. And, when I'm able (you know, when I'm not sitting around doing nothing) I help out my grandparents or other family that needs me. I enjoy that time too..so does Madden.

I don't know if you could read through any of that sarcasm or not (I'm really in that kind of a mood today), but I will tell you this. There are times when I curl up on the couch while my baby is taking a nap and all of my assignments are done and I've accomplished every thing that I needed too on that day (which is not very often) and I sleep...HARD. I too indulge in a nap. And if I had to choose between going to work full-time away from my baby or staying home doing what I do everyday, I'd choose the second. I wouldn't give anything in this world for the time that I have with Madden. Will I look back on my life and regret for one minute being able to stay at home with him? NO WAY. In fact, if given the opportunity, I want to be able to stay home with all of our children until the last one starts school. And then I'll go with them to teach. I'll still be on their schedule and have summers off with them. This is God's plan for me...I just KNOW it. I no longer question if what I'm doing with my life is what I should be doing. I've been given another amazing gift of being able to meet with 6 other women once a week for women's Bible study.It's such a blessing to be able to sit and talk with other women who do the same thing I do.

This point of this post isn't to belittle working moms either. I remember a few single moms from the daycare that also worked and went to school. I can't imagine that being easy. I give major praise to the moms/dads that do work full-time jobs and come home to tend to their babies. I just want it to be known that being a stay-at-home mom isn't easy either. And it may not be as financially rewarding as a day job, but I know for a fact that it brings every other reward possible. :)

So there you have it..just my take on being a stay-at-home mom/student/jeweler/helper.

But then again, maybe everyone is right...I did have the time to sit and write this blog. ;)

Hoping to get my point across. . .

I really hate to get all negative, especially since this is only my second post...but I feel what I have to say is neccessary.

First, let me begin by saying that I am not knocking anyone's advice when it comes to Madden. In fact, J.R. and I need all the advice we can get. Afterall, what new parents don't? What I am saying is that giving us your advice is one thing...but insisting your way over ours is another when it comes to raising our children.

Everyone that has children is given the chance to raise them however they choose and see fit. And, with that being said, J.R. and I have our own visions of what and how we would like to do that. I'm not appologizing if you have a problem with the way we are raising Madden. We do what our doctors suggest as far as health goes. Things ARE different than they were 20, 30, even 40 years ago. Scientific research is performed to PROVE how good or bad things are for our kids. It is BEYOND aggravating to hear people say that doctors don't know what they're talking about. If a doctor came to your with life threatening news, I'm sure you'd buck up and pay attention. It is no different to me when it comes to listening to what is in Madden's best interest. Whenever my children are grown and begin to have children of their own, I VOW to respect their desires in what or what not they choose to do when raising their kids. As I said before, I am not saying that we do not want your advice...we NEED it if anything. I'm only referring to those that INSIST on their way being the correct way over ours or even a doctors. It's your opinion and that's fine. I understand that people have been having babies since Adam and Eve, and that your child turned out just fine in the way that you raised them. But, if new, BETTER ways have been discovered then that's the way we're likely to choose and we ask that you respect our decision to do so.

On this note...YES, Madden is breastfed. And, YES, he will continue to be until he is ONE year old. There is absolutely no since in putting him on formula when he can't have cow's milk until he is a year old. I suggest you do some research on the benefits of breastfeeding. It's the BEST thing for moms and babies. We are human NOT cows, so it only makes since to give your baby what's intended for them. It has all the nutrients that babies need, it's 87% water, so there's that, and it gives them all of their mother's antibodies so that it becomes extremely difficult for them to become ill. I understand that some women are not able to breatfeed and some even choose not to and that is perfectly fine. You do what you  think is best for your baby...afterall that is the point of this partcuilar post.

And thirdly, YES Madden is a big baby. I've never in my life seen a near 3 foot long and 22 pound 5 month old! BUT, that also doesn't make his INSIDES anymore ready for something that a normal 5 month old baby isn't ready for. His outsides might look a year old, but his insides are not. And, because he is big, why would I want to shove other things into his mouth that he's not ready for? He's OBVIOUSLY getting all that he needs, wouldn't you say?

Now, with all of that being said, I'm nowhere near admitting that I'm a "know-it-all" or anything of the sort. I need help just as much as the next "new mom", but I do know one thing...and that is that I know what I want for my children...the very BEST. We are doing our very best to raise healthy, sweet, God fearing children. You had your chance to raise your children the way that you choose/chose...give us ours. :)

Baby Madden

What better way to begin blogging than to talk about the most recent happiest day of our lives...the arrival of our sweet baby, Madden Luke. Let's start from the beginning, shall we? :)

Most of you know that Madden was a very BIG baby. My entire pregnancy was a breeze though. I joke all the time that my next pregnancy may do me in because I had no problems with this pregnancy, except for the occasional heartburn and swollen ankles. I had no idea I was carrying around a 10 pounder. I personally thought I was having a large baby, but due to the fact that I knew so many people that looked as if they were going to have whoppers and only having given birth to average weight babies had me second guessing myself.

My belly was HUGE, to say the least. I had belly pictures taken in November when I was 7 months along, but looked as if I was due any day. My due date was January 21, but I just KNEW I wouldn't last that long...there was no way! Even everybody in our family was betting that I'd go into labor in December. I kept getting asked if I were having the little "twitches", or braxton hicks. I think I tricked myself into thinking I was, but in actually reality I never had any. I don't think my body was ever going to prepare to give birth.

By the time January 11th rolled around, I was headed for my second to last appoitment. I was a little over 38 weeks and my doctor was just about to send me on my way, as usual. I thought it was very strange considering how big I was. I was 38 weeks and hadn't made any change since the last appointment. So, I had to ask how he felt about induction. He said he was all for it, but there was no medical need for it. He said I had to wait until I was 39 weeks, due to new hospital regulations. I would have been 39 weeks that same Friday, but he didn't induce on weekends. Therefore, he made me wait until the following Wednesday, only TWO days before my due date!

I had to go in for a last minute check-up just to make sure everything was a go. I still had no change and hadn't had any contractions at all. There's no telling how much longer my body would have endured that pregnancy OR how much bigger Madden would have been!

I went in, as scheduled on January 19 at 6 am. They immediately began the process. I knew then with that first contraction, even though is was very mild, that I had never felt that before. 8 am rolled around and my doctor came in to break my water. I labored for 6 more hours and finally asked for some relief. They gave me Stadol, amazing stuff! I was embarrasingly drunk from it. I had been in labor for 8 hours but was hysterically laughing my tail off! I remember 10 plus people in the room and all I could do was laugh...I'm still embarrased and they're still laughing. Needless to say, that wonder drug WORKED. :)

Around 3 pm, I was given my Epidural. Wonder drug #2. Around 5:30 pm, my doctor came and checked me, but I was only at a 4. He told me he was going to give me a couple more hours and then if there was still no change, he was going to take the baby. He said there was no sense in me laboring all night long to deliver what he knew was a large baby. Then he just left me there pretty much HOPING I would have no change. All I could imagine was giving birth to a whopper of a baby, and I'm sure you can imagine what all that entailed. Finally, around 7 pm he came back in, and just as I had thought, there was no change. 12 hours passed and NO change...how does that happen?!

I suddenly became very aware and very scared about what was about to happen. Also, I knew I was only minutes away from becoming a mommy. While J.R. was getting dressed in his proper attire, I was getting hugs and kisses from family as they took me back to prep for surgery. I remember barely being able to keep my eyes open I was so out of it from the drugs. J.R. stared at me the entire time, NEVER taking his eyes off mine.

Finally, I hear Dr. Vineyard say, "Oh, wow! We've got us a Linebacker, Dad!" J.R.'s eyes lit up. I was choking back tears as I heard my baby cry for the first time...the most beautiful sound I've every heard! As I was getting stitched back up, they took the baby to be weighed. J.R. came running back in yelling, "He's ten pounds, one and a half ounces!! And babe, he's got your hair!" :' )

Afterwards, I had to go back into recovery for an hour without my husband OR my baby. :( That was the worst part of it all! When I was finally out and in my room, I heard the little wheels on the cart coming down the hall. Our poor baby was starving! I worried my whole pregnancy that I would have nursing problems, but Madden knew exactly what to do. That was the most precious moment of my life! God has blessed me with the most loving husband and most precious baby. I am so utterly grateful for the family He has given me. I don't know where I'd be without them! God knows my heart's desires and has been so abudant in fulfilling them. Thank You, Lord...thank YOU!